Don't put her in danger
by redhead.witch
Summary: What Ichigo thought about Karin and Hitsugaya after his little chat with the ice captain? Hitsukarin, r&r. Oneshot
1. Big brother

_ Just a little something which came into my mind after watching episode 316. Hope you like it. _

_And also, sorry for the mistaked ^^"_

= h i t s u k a r i n =

Karin... Toushiro...

The homework lied forgotten in front of Ichigo, his thoughts far away from it. Eventually, he threw the object on the desk, leaning on the back of his chair. He sighed deeply, closing his eyes for a moment.

As an older brother, he was concerned about the situation as hell.

Even if Toushiro and Karin declined that there was any kind of 'situation', Ichigo couldn't fight the bugging feeling in him that one day, their friendship or whatever they had at the moment, would develope into something more. And he was sure that if it did, Karin would be in surely would be against relationship between Shinigami and human, esspecialy when there was a captain put in it. And he, seeing as his Shinigami powers were weeker every day, wouldn't be able to help her. Hell, he wouldn;t be even able to see Histugaya sneeking into their home. He furrowed his brows at the thought.

But still... Toushiro never seemed to him as a person who could interfere with human without reason. Yet still, he played with Karin and even was friendly with her... on his own way. And he had saved her. Yes, Ichigo knew about their earlier meeting. He had gotten her to talk after she had asked him about snow captain. Of course he had been curious about it. After all, it was his little sister they were talking about. So now, why Hitsugaya, the cold and unemotional child prodigy, would willingly spent his free time with his tomboyant, arrogant and foul-mouthed sister?

Ichigo noticed something in Karin's eyes when she was lookingo on the young captain. Some kind of... understanding. He knew that his sister was different from other children in her age. Maybe it was because of her ability of seeing ghosts and spirits or because of their mother early death. But still, there was some kind of maturity in her, the way she talked about some things or even her attitude. And she didn't mind his ice facade at all, as if it was something daily. Maybe it was the reason why Hitsugaya was civil with her.

And their reaction when Yuzu accused them of beeing a couple... Ichigo couldn't help but smirk slightly while he remembered Toshiro's face.

_Toshiro, what the hell do you think you are doing?_

His smirk disapeared. Even if he said to the younger boy that he had been joking about that, it was only partialy truth. He hoped that Toushiro was smart enough to try and stop anything what come between the two of them before it would be to late. For their both good.

And yet... he wanted his sister to be happy. And no matter how he looked at it, if she really would fell in love with Hitsugaya one day, he would cheer for them.

After beeting the hell out of the midget, of course.

But still, if he could choose any guy for his sister, white haired boy was the best option. She would always felt something for Renji... Ichigo shivered terrified at the thought.

_Don't put Karin in danger, you hear?_

He hoped that Toushiro understood what he really was meaning with that warning. Not only Hollows, but also Soul Society. After all,the kid was child prodigy, so it meant that he was using his brain cells.

Ichigo looked through his windows. Maybe he was overreacting?

But, he didn't want his sister to feel the same pain he felt. Being in love with someone who could never be yours is the most painful thing which can happed to living soul.

= h i t s u k a r i n =

_Please, leave me a word about what you think about it :D_


	2. How does she know?

_A/N: Sitting on the break today, I suddenly got struck with the idea of another oneshot which could be posted here. Some of it is based on episodes 132 and 316, some of them are placed in the future of this young couple :D _

_Anyway, I don't own anything here. _

_=H I T S U K A R I N= _

One could ask how Kurosaki Karin knew that Hitsugaya Tōshirō cared deeply about her. After all, seeing his cold demeanor, one couldn't said what he really felt. Well, in the beginning Karin herself wasn't sure about it. After all, she was only eleven and her interest in boys were deeply hidden and not discovered. but it changed, maybe not very much when it comes to the boys, but she gave it much more thoughts than before. And after few years of knowing the Tenth Division Taicho, she knew how to answer it.

In reality, there were few points on the list when she thought about it deeply.

1. The name.

Anyone who knew Hitsugaya, either in Soul Society or Real World, knew that there was one unbreakable rule: never ever, if you want to still keep your body in warmth, call Hitsugaya-taicho by his first name. There was only one proper way, and it should be kept that way. Even Momo was always reminded to call him by his title. But still, Karin was exception.

Not even once during their friendship, Hitsugaya corrected her about how she was addressing him. it was pretty shocking for others Shinigamis when they witnessed him. After short 'Yo, Tōshirō.' they were all expecting the sudden coldness, the murderous glare, the shouting. Nothing came, except 'Hello, Karin.' Well, adding the facet that it was the time when they had found out that Ichigo had a sister... And it hadn't changed on the run of years. For her he was always Tōshirō, not Hitsugaya, and for him she was Karin, not Kurosaki.

_Matsumoto looked on Rukia, her light blue eyes widened in shock. The violet ones weren't in much better state. Of course, Kuchiki knew about the fact that Ichigo had a sister and Matsumoto that Karin had met her taicho... but she never suspected that they had met again somewhere. _

_'She... he didn't correct her.' Rangiku muttered, strange light in her eyes. _

_Rukia nodded her head, her thinking face on the place, with finger on the chin. _

_'And didn't even get scold.' Kuchiki girl added._

_Suddenly, matsumoto grabbed her shoulders and turned her around, bringing her closer to herself, nose to nose, eyes shining in excitement. _

_'Do you know what that mean?' Rukia shook her head. 'My taicho is interested in girl! He is finally growing up!' _

_The sudden coldness behind redhead Shinigami told both of them to quickly run away. _

2. Childish things.

The other well known fact about Hitsugaya Tōshirō was that he hated everything what could made him look like child. He despised it from the bottom of his heart. He would get angry when someone suggested a sweet. he would get furious when someone patted him on his head. He would get extremely pissed when someone suggested to play in some child game.

And still, when Karin suggested playing soccer, he would happily agree. Of course not showing it. but still, he wouldn't think twice about that. he loved playing soccer with her. For her, playing was almost her whole life. Nothing mattered more, except of family. He didn't even know when, but suddenly, the things important to Karin started being important to him. With every year more and more, until he learned to cherish them completely.

_'Shuhei~' Matsumoto sang in happy voice, walking onto the office where the redaction of Soul Society newspaper was gathered. there was a large envelope in her hand, which she protectively were holding against her breast. _

_'What do you have for us, Matsumoto-fukutaicho?' Hisagi asked, looking up from the paper he was currently reading. _

_He knew that Matsumoto and the rest of the team just came back from the Real World, and that meant more news to the paper. _

_'You will never guess!' she shouted excited, pushing the envelope into him. 'Look at this!' _

_Hisagi took an envelope from her, feeling her exited eyes on him all the time. he opened it and looked on the photos inside. His eyes widened._

_'Is it...' he started, still closely inspecting the photos._

_'Yep!' she shouted, clapping her hands. 'it's my taicho in amusement park, having fun with...'_

_'MATSUMOTO!' _

_Let's just say, the photos were no longer able to be used. _

3. Annoyed.

He would only glare when someone said something about his 'relationship' with other Shinigamis women. He was not once accused on romance with Momo (what could put as an incest) or Matsumoto (this one always sound to him as if his fukutaicho was pedophile), but he didn't do more than giving person who toldt his a cold shoulder and turning around.

But when someone said something about his relationship with younger Kurosaki, he would get furious. He would shout, glare, even froze someone without second thought. And also, he could blush.

One could ask why it was different? Why Karin was exceptation? On the beginning he himself was convincing that it was because he didn't want to ruin their friendship. Then, he made a discovery, which sent him into the Fourth Division in state of shock. As a genius, he hated when someone found out something before him. Especially when the case was close to his heart.

_'Your taicho had become quiet a man after he grew up.' Nanao commented once when they both were sitting in the Tenth Division office, drinking a tea. _

_of course, it was time when Matsumoto was supposed to fill the paperwork. _

_'Tell me something I don't know.' Rangiku answered proudly, thinking about her taicho. After all, he was like son for her. _

_Nano thought about something for a moment. _

_'There is even a rumour that he had a funclub in the Academy.' she said, remembering what her own taicho had told her once. _

_'Nah, tacho won't be interested in them.' Matsumoto stated, waving her hand. When Nanao looked on her, she continued. 'He already has a girlfriend in Real World!' _

_Nanao split her tea when deadly whisper suddenly rang in the cold air. _

_'WHOM I have WHERE, Matsumoto?'_

4. Protecting.

He had known from the moment he met her for the first time what she was like some damn bait on Hollows. It was as if she was running aroung with huge sign over her head. And he knew that she needed protection. And more often than not, he was her knight in shining armor. Or in snowy haori.

he would jump in front of her every time, in last second protecting her from being stabbed, cut, smashed, eaten. And it wasn't only because he didn't want kurosaki Ichigo to bankai his ass into oblivion.

It was just that Hitsugaya valued her life more than his own.

_Matsumoto run quickly to her wounded Captain, blood dripping down his arm. He was crouching on the ground, almost hovering over something. Her hands started glowing in healing kidou when she suddenly heard a voice rang from in front of her taicho. _

_'Idiot. I told you to be careful.' Karin said, hitting the Shinigami in front of her on the head lightly. _

_'I wasn't the one blindly walking into the Hollow.' _

_Matsumoto smiled. So that was why her taicho was hurt by little Hollow. _

5. Hairs.

No one could touch his hair. Another sacred rule of Hitsugaya Tōshirō. Never ever, basta. As soon as his hair were touched, the person who was stupid enough to do it, was ent into another dimension.

Only one hand could touch his hairs. Karin had this stupid habit of ruffling it whenever she got bored or annoyed with him. From time to time he could glare on her when she did it in front of others, but still ,the fire was gone from the glare.

_Everyone was already used to bickering, which often acompanied the metings between Karin and Hitsugaya. _

_'They are like and old married couple.' she stated to Rukia, who was next to her, smiling slightly on her taicho annoyance. _

_Her smile softened when Karin's hand suddenly shot up and landed on white hairs, ruffling them. Hitsugaya only closed his eyes, sighing deeply, but still, there was small smile on his face. _

6. Touching.

Hitsugaya never would be accused of being comforted with close proximity between himself on other person. He was just this type of people who hated being touched, hugged, comforted. It always made him feel uncomfortable and childish.

But when he touched Karin it felt different. It gave him this strange warm feeling which he liked, even if normally he preferred coldness. Yet, touching warm skin of Karin's hand, he felt as if he was on cloud nine.

_Karin shoot up on her bad, tears running down her cheeks. She had seen it again, the death of everyone she loved. _

_'What happened?' she turned to the windowsill, where the white haired man crouched, looking on her with his teal eyes closely. _

_Without a single word she reached her hands for him. Understanding, he took of his sword, walking closer to her. _

_He stayed with her for the rest of the night, hugging her closely to his chest. _

Thinking about it, Karin was pretty sure that Tōshirō cared about her from the bottom of his heart. The ring on her finger was one more proof of their love.


	3. His happiness

_A/N: disclaimer: I don't own anything._

* * *

><p>Hitsugaya Toshiro stirred in his sleep, slowly waking up from the dream he just had. He lied for a moment, looking up on the ceiling of his home in Soul Society, thinking it over.<p>

It was one of his worst nightmares. He dreamed that he lost everything. Everyone. Every bit of his happiness. He was all alone. Without friends, love, family. There was no one to smile to him and cheer him up when he had bad day at the office. No one was there to greet him after a mission in Real World. No one was there to beat the crap out of him when he was depressed over something. There was only him and his loneliness.

And he really didn't like it.

Suddenly, his attention was turned to his right, where someone moved slightly in her sleep. He looked on the black haired woman lying there with him, sleeping peacefully at his side, with his arm under her head.

She looked so calm and innocent, that he couldn't help, but smiled slightly on sleeping form of Kurosaki Karin, soon to be Hitsugaya. She was the happiness in his life and he couldn't lost her. He touched her cheek slightly, running his thumb under her eye delicately.

It was quite shock when she died. She had been sixteen then, trying to protect her sister on her own way. Too bad that her opponent had been too strong for her, even if she had had pretty high reiatsu at that time. She had been crushed by Hollow's arm and only arriving of Kuchiki Rukia had saved her soul from being eaten. They had been on the mission in Real World on that faithful day. Why their pagers hadn't picked up the Hollow, was still a mystery. But Toshiro was sure that he would never forget the face of Kurosaki Ichigo at the news of his dark-haired sister's death.

After the Soul Burial, which had been performed by Kuchiki, since she had known the family members the best, Karin had disappeared for few years in Rukongai. Only to reappear in the Academy with flaming reiatsu and no control over it. And all her memory was still in her head, what had made Kurotsuchi almost beg to perform some experiments on her.

After six years in Academy she had been signed to his Division.

And lost control over something and burned his paperwork with her zanpakuto accidently.

He smiled at the memory. Sure, he was furious back then and froze her to the ground for few hours, but now... it was just a memory. One of many he was going to make together with her.

It had taken many years for them to end where they were currently. Her whole family had died and ended in Soul Society. She had melted his frozen heart and he had frozen a little her hot temper. Someone said that fire and ice couldn't mix. But Karin and Toshiro were perfect for each other.

She was his. And he was going to protect her with his life. After all, without her, he wouldn't exist.

Toshiro hugged sleeping Karin closer to himself. It was just a dream. Kissing her forehead he drifted back to sleep, not noticing small smile on her lips.


	4. I love you Part 1

"I love you" Part 1

* * *

><p>Karin knew from the beginning that the feeling of love was not for her.<p>

It was dedicated for delicate, romantic girls, who dream about Prince Charming. Who would come and take them away.

But she wasn't that type of girl.

She was strong, tomboy, hard-headed, fierce.

She preferred bloody horror from romantic comedy.

Her ideal date was the good soccer play instead of small dinner at restaurant.

She didn't do dresses.

She didn't do makeup (when questioned about fluid she asked what it was).

She loved sneakers and hated heals.

Her idea of making someone feel better was to engage them in fight (it was useful with guys).

She wasn't afraid of having some bruises in visible places.

In few words. She was nothing like Hinamori Momo.

Momo was gentle, delicate, feminine. She would cry over broken flower and do sweet, puppy eyes when she wanted something (the ability Karin still couldn't get right).

So, it wasn't that strange that Hitsugaya Tōshirō would go after a girl like her. They were ideal couple, as few of the girls in the Academy had been saying for some time now. Even before Karin caught them kissing. She didn't mean to, really. She was just going to ask Tōshirō if he had some free time to go play with her or something.

Karin knew she was stupid. Naïve and crazy. Why did she even think that there could be something between her and Tōshirō? They were only friends. She knew it. Well, he'd never really said it, but she thought that after few years of knowing each other, talking with each other and spending time together she could consider herself as his friend.

He was the one who helped Karin found herself in the Soul Society after she died. Seeing as she was already Shinigami before this damn Hollow killed her, he took her into Seiretei by Senkaimon. He allowed her to live in his house until she entered the Academy. He helped her with the things she didn't understand and her shikai was reached in front of him.

She knew that she loved him. It happened soon after she stationed herself in his house. And Karin knew she would not be able to love someone else. That was a thing with Kurosakis. They were like wolves. Once they fall in love, it's over for them. That's how it was with Ichigo and her father.

But why she gave herself hope? It was the worst. She had listened to Matsumoto teasing and, unwillingly, took it seriously. She knew that it wasn't fault of the busty fukutaichō. Karin herself should have known better. That a guy like Tōshirō would never take a second look on a girl like, even if, it would be only as a friend.

But even when she knew it… why it still hurt so much? It was almost as if she felt physical pain.

For that moment, she just wanted to sit alone there, without anyone. Suddenly, she felt something wet on her cheek. Surprised, she raised a hand to her face, clearing it from tears. She smiled sadly.

She hadn't been crying since her mother's funeral. It was something she promised herself to not do ever again.

And yet, here she was, crying over some guy who unknowingly broke her heart.

_'Not some guy' _ she corrected herself. Tōshirō would hardly be called that, after all he had done for her to help.

She hide her face in her knees, hugging them tightly to her chest. She was glad that she had found this place some time ago. Noone knew about it, maybe except from the white-haired captain, but the chances that he would come there now were close to zero. She closed her eyes, allowing herself for a moment of weakness.

* * *

><p>Hitsugaya Tōshirō was sitting in his office, fumming with anger. Not only some previous events made him furious, but also his fukutaichō decided to take a break (again!) from her paperwork. And it all had to be done soon or the sōtaichō would have their heads.<p>

But to his great surprise, Matsumoto went into his office, humming to herself. Hitsugaya raised his brow looking at her. Seeing what time it was, he would assume that she was already tipsy in some bar with Hisagi and Abarai.

"Matsumoto, where were you?" he asked her coldly. Since se was already in the office, there was no way in hell that he would let her off from doing paperwork.

The redhead raised her head at his voice, looking at him for a moment surprised.

"Oh, taichō, you are here!" she said, big goofy smile on her face. If she thought that she was going to get away with it, she was sooo wrong.

"And where would I be?" Tōshirō asked her, her eyes boring into his lazy fukutaichō.

Matsumoto blinked on him.

"Well, I just met Karin-chan some time ago and she said that she was going to ask you to go somewhere, since she was bored." she explained, titling her head on one side. "So I thought that you are with her somewhere, taichō."

"As you can see, I'm not." he answered, furrowing his brows slightly. Strange, Karin didn't arrive to his office, from what he knew.

Matsumoto looked even more surprised at his answer.

"Did you two have a fight?" she asked with genuuine concern. She really liked Karin, after all she was the only person who could remove the stick from her captain ass.

"No, I haven't seen her today at all."

"Are? But I saw her right in front of our Division..."

Now that Hitsugaya thought about it, yesterday Karin had said something about having a break from learning for a test. At that time she woul always come to him so they could spent it together. There was not even once when she missed it.

But she hadn't been there, he would recognize her reiatsu as soon as she stepped in, after all, she had a little control over it. Furrowing his brows, he took a pen again to fill the paper in front if him.

"She came almost at the same time as Hinamori."

The pen stopped in midair. Hitsugaya looked on Matsumoto allerted.

"What did you say?" he asked, hoping that he had heard wrong.

"I mean, it was around five minutes after Hinamori went into your office." the redhead explained, looking on her captain. "Did Karin-chan caught you doing some dirty things, taichō~?" she sang jokingly, but the look on his face told her everything.

"Please, taichō, tell me she didn't."

Hitsugaya looked on the serious face of his fukutaichō. It was so strange to see her in that state, that it made him feel even worse. If Karin came at the time Matsumoto said she did, she had seen something she wasn't mean to. Hell, it wasn't even mean to happen at all!

Many things could be said about Tōshirō, but he definitely wasn't stupid. He knew that Karin felt something more that just friendship for him, even if she tried to hide it as much as she could. But he caught her watching him when she thought he wasn't looking; a sudden blush would appear on her cheeks in random situation. She started to be more aware of him, from what he had noticed. There were other things too.

"She... could see me and Momo kissing." he told to his fukutaichō, who was still watching him questioningly.

There was a moment of heavy silence. He knew that Matsumoto wasn't happy with him at the moment. Well, he wasn't either.

"How could you?" she only asked. But the voice she used made Hitsugaya cringe.

For a years they had fought side by side, he had never heard Matsumoto adressing him with so much... venom in her voice.

"It wasn't my fault!" he shouted, his anger ringing in his ear. It was adressed at himself. "It was... just... Momo suddenly confessed to me! Before I knew it, she was right in front of me and... and in the blink of eye, she was kissing me! Not I her! I was too shocked to react at first..." Hitsugaya admitted.

He didn't knew why he was telling her everything. It wasn't llike him. But now, the thought that Karin would be somewhere alone, hurt by what she had seen, made him feel the same pain.

Oh, he knew why. As it was said before, he wasn't stupid. Tōshirō knew that Karin was the only person who could make his cold heart feel warm and beat faster. For a longer time, he wanted to ignore it, hoping it would go away. But then, noticing the changes in her behaviour, he wanted, really, to confess to her. But waited for a good moment. And now he was experiencing how the waiting goes!

Matsumoto watched him for a moment. She saw how trouble he was. The pain in his eyes and the panic. After watching interaction between Hitsugaya and Karin for some years now, she knew what they both felt about each other. That's why she teased both of them more often than usually. She all the time hoped that either of them could finally confess.

"I will go and look for her." Hitsugaya stood up from his chair, taking Hyōrinmaru with him.

Matsumoto blinked on him, before jumping into action.

"No wait!" she shouted, stopping her taichō from moving from the office.

Hitsugaya turned to her with impatient look on his face. He was now as tall as she was.

_'When did he grow up that much?' _she thought to herself.

"I don't think that she wants to see you at the moment." she explained, her face still deadly serious. "If you know where she can be, I will come and look for her. It would be better if you give her some time. Until tommorow at least." she said, seeing the impatient gleant in his eyes.

Hitsugaya thought about it for a moment. His heart wanted to go search for Karin, to explain everything, but his mind knew that Matsumoto was right. Finally, he noded his head, giving her instructions how to find the place, where he susspected Karin was.

* * *

><p>To be continued~<p> 


	5. I love you Part 2

"I love you" Part 2

* * *

><p>Karin really wandered if it was the worst day of her life. It was the only explanation. Just few hours ago she had caught the love of her life kissing the other girl, and now she was sitting in Rukongai Bar with very tipsy Matsumoto, a little less tipsy Rukia and hundreds of others Shinigamis, who decided to take a break from their hard life.<p>

Kurosaki girl herself, she had to admit, wasn't sober at the moment. But she still could concentrate on few important things. As the fact that a sake, as Matsumoto was convincing her (before dragging her to the building, sending already butterfly to Rukia about 'code red'). She just wanted to come home to her bed, lay down and forget about everything.

Especially the reason, why she ended there.

"Karin-chan, don't do the sad face!" the black-haired girl jumped slightly at the sudden yell in her ear. She turned around to Matsumoto. "I'm telling you, everything is going to be all right!" the redhead poured herself another glass of the drink and gulped it down at once.

"I don't think so." Karin answered bitterly, drinking her own portion of alcohol. On the normal day, she wouldn't even think about complaining, but it wasn't normal day. "It's just... everytime I see him from now on I will think about how happy he must be with Hinamori."

Matsumoto exchanged looks with Rukia when the youngest girl rested her head on their table with heavy sigh. Tipsy or not, they were women, they knew that Karin need them the most at the moment.

"I don't think that Hitsugaya-taichō would have any feelings other than the brotherly ones when it comes to Hinamori-fukutaichō." Rukia wandered loudly, sipping her sake slowly from the glass. Matsumoto hadn't had time to fill completely with information about what really happened, so she knew almost as much as Karin. Only that she suspected that there was something more from the looks the redhead send her way.

"Why not?" Karin raised her head, playing absently with her glass. "Momo has everything a guy need. And Tōshirō is a guy after all. What is needed more?"

"Trust."

Matsumoto, after knowing her captain for a years now, knew that Hinamori lost his trust the moment she had chosen to still worship Aizen, even after everything he had done to all of them.

"Love."

Rukia had her own suspicions about what Hinamori's true fillings were. She didn't really love Hitsugaya. She just loved the idea of having someone protecting her, someone strong, someone who would fill the gap Aizen left behind him. But her heart was still filled with love for her previous captain.

"Excitment."

The redhead could remember the glint in her captain eyes everytime Karin walked into his office to drag him out. It had never been present there when the other girl came.

"Communication."

Rukia had spent a lot time in Karakura Town, especially in Kurosaki's household. She knew that Karin had never opened herself to anyone much, even her family. But, from information she had gathered already, the black-haired girl would spent hours talking with Tōshirō about everything that was bugging her. And it looked like it worked the other way around.

"Interest."

Everytime Rangiku caught the two of them together, neither Hitsugaya nor Karin looked bored. It was just as if their own companionship was interesting enough to free them from boredom.

"Conflict." Rukia stopped for a moment and added. "From time to time."

There was nothing much to say. After all, Karin _was_ a Kurosaki.

"There are much more thing to it. You know it yourself, since you love him." Rukia said, putting her glass down. "You can't just give up."

"Exactly!" Matsumoto exclaimed, moving her chair closer to Karin's. "You can't just hand taichō over to Hinamori! Fight for him."

There was a moment of silence, the older women were waiting impatiently for Karin's reaction. But the girl looked through the window thinking about something.

"You know what..." she started, only to stop again before continuing. "I'm not going to fight."

Two pair of eyes blinked on her.

"Huh?"

"If Tōshirō's happy with Momo, that I will chear for them. I want him to have a good afterlife with person he loves. It's the most important thing, right? I don't want to destroy something what is so important to him. It would put him in despair, and, in the same time, it would make me unhappy, seeing him sad." she explained, standing up. "I think that I will go home. You two stay here."

She turned around to walk away, but was stopped by a hand on her shoulder.

"Karin-chan." Matsumoto pulled her into a hug. But this one wasn't her usual, full-of-killing-intention one. It was one the mother could give her broken child. "Remember that nothing is as bad as you see it. Sometimes, we just need a little more light to understand everything correctly."

She let her go with small smile. Karin looked on her, biting back tears. With smile nod, she was off.

"She didn't get it at all, did she?" Rukia asked, looking after younger girl.

Matsumoto sighed, sitting down.

"Nope."

* * *

><p>Karin closed her eyes, feeling fresh air hitting her face. It was nice change after fully packed bar. And it also helped her to clear her head a little from the alcohol she had drunk, but not as much as she wanted. Really, she didn't understand why Matsumoto was insisting, that sake is the best remedy for everything. Yes, it could make you forget about the problem for some time, but then it was coming back. And the feeling in her stomach was making it even worse.<p>

She only wished it would clear completely her thoughts of Tōshirō and Momo.

She really meant it, what she had said to Matsumoto and Rukia. If Hitsugaya was happy with his choice, that who was she to destroy it? She would just go on with her own life, suppressing her own feelings and help him, as a good friend should.

It would be hard. She didn't have any deceptive hope that it would be different.

She knew that her heart would break even more if she continued to stay by his side. Watching his eyes following every move of Momo. Knowing that his thoughts would be only filled with the girl. And that he would care about her less and less.

But she also knew that leaving him would more painful. And she, even as Kurosaki, didn't have enough power in herself to completely let go off him. She needed him more than anything else to live. It wasn't his fault that she was stupid enough to fall for him and give herself hope. She only hoped that he would never know how she felt. She would be humiliated to the core if he pitied her for that reason.

Karin knew that Hitsugaya cared for her, so the idea that she was hurt in any sense by him would make him feel terrible. And that was the last she wanted. He deserved something better.

Putting her hands in pockets of her uniform, she sighed deeply, troubled and sad. Deciding that after all she didn't want to go home yet after all, the fresh air was too nice, she moved in the direction of Rukongai's lower districts. Even if it was dangerous for normal souls, no one was stupid enough to attack a sited Shinigami.

* * *

><p>Tōshirō was coming back from his grandma's place, wandering how Matsumoto was doing with Karin. Really, he couldn't concentrate on his paperwork, and that was something. Seeing as their was no point in sitting as an idiot in the office, he decided to do something more productive. And he hadn't seen his grandma for a long time.<p>

He was just in the middle of his way back when he felt it. Very familiar reiatsu coming in his direction, from the opposite. He furrowed his brows.

What was Karin doing there alone, without Matsumoto? His lazy fukutaichō was supposed to be with her!

He stopped for a moment in his tracks, trying to decide what to do. He always could turn and find another way to Seiretei, avoiding meeting with Karin, as Rangiku advised him. But his heart...

Hitsugaya had never been a person who was acting to his heart's call. He preferred to analyze everything, think things over and than act according to the plan. But this situation was different. He couldn't just run in another direction when he had a chance to see Kurosaki.

So he moved further his previous path.

A few minutes later she was there. Her head down, hands in the pockets. Bangs were covering her face, so he couldn't see clearly Karin's expression, but from what he knew about her, her brows were furrowed. They always were when she was thinking over something important. He looked around, just to make sure, but Matsumoto was nowhere to be seen.

Karin hadn't noticed him yet, he could tell. She had to be very troubled if his reiatsu was gone unnoticed. He didn't even try to hide it.

They were only few meters apart when Karin lifted her head suddenly.

"Tōshirō!" she looked really surprised. That was the last thing she expected. Or wanted.

Hitsugaya nodded his head, suddenly his head was robbed of any ideas on what to say.

"Karin." was the only thing that left his mouth.

She looked around, as if searching something. Either it was a way to run away or other Shinigami, he wasn't sure.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice little strained from what he noticed.

"I was visiting my grandma." he answered honestly. After all, there was nothing to hide. "The better question is what are _you_ doing here?"

Suddenly, she looked like cornered animal. Wild, beautiful animal, who was suddenly robbed of its freedom. Tōshirō didn't like this expression on her face.

"I-I was just going for a walk." she answered, shifting from one leg to another.

He knew that it was nervous habit.

"Alone?" he asked before he could stop himself, raising his brow.

Something flashed in her eyes. He should knew better.

"I can take care of myself, thank you very much!"

Tōshirō sighed. If course she would be angry at him for saying something like that. After her time in Academy, where she had been very often compared to her brother, the hero, the feeling of need of self-sufficiency bloomed in her.

"I know you can, it's just..." he moved closer to her, so they were only few steps apart. Something hit him. The smell which was coming from her, was very well-known to him. "Have you been drinking?"

He was shocked. Really. Never before had he seen her with an alcohol. But now, he could clearly smell a stench of bar from her, which was glued to Rangiku at evenings. Or even mornings, very often.

Karin looked rather uncomfortable with the question, since she massaged her neck.

"Well... yeah... I met Matsumoto and... somehow we ended in the bar." she answered, avoiding telling the reason for the whole incident.

He was going to froze the redhead Shinigami. Honestly! What the hell was she thinking? Or even better, he would send an anonymous letter to Ichigo about that. This over-protectiveness of his was seriously going over-board.

Of course, he chosed not to think about the orange head reaction when he would find out what Tōshirō's plans for Karin were...

"How much did you drink?" he asked, trying to get over his anger directed on his fukutaichō.

Karin looked at him for a moment, wandering why the hell he looked so angry suddenly. Of course, she read it all wrong and suspected that the anger was directed at her. In her slightly tipsy mode, she felt a rebelious instict kicking in and she looked straight into his eyes with mix of anger and stubbornity.

"As much as I wanted."

"And how much was it?" he aksed again.

She looked on him, somehow even more angry.

"Why do you even care? It's not your business." she snapped at him, her posture more straight. "Sorry, but I have to go." she moved to walk by him

And there it was. All talking about being there for him even if he was with Momo, about not being affected too much by it... Karin cursed in her head. Why was she so weak that she couldn't even stand talking to him for few minutes like normally they would without fighting with her tears? Without this not-so-silent monster in her heart and mind, who was giving her new and new images about the white haired man and his girlfriend?

Tōshirō looked at her, taken aback. He didn't know what have gotten into her. But it was Karin after all, sometimes she could be even more unpredictable than the rest of her family. And with Isshin and Ichigo, it was something.

"Of course it's my business!" he snapped back at her, catching her forearm to stop her from walking away. "You are my friend, I'm deeply concerned about your well-being."

Karin closed her eyes and lowered her head, glad that she had her backs to him. Yes, she was his friend. Only. And she knew that he cared about her, but not the way she wanted. And still, even if she knew it, when Tōshirō had spoken this words, it hurt more.

She knew that she didn't have much time before the tears split.

"Maybe I am your friend. But I can do what I want and you have no reason to but your nose into it!" the words came much harsher than she intended. But she just wanted to be left alone. Especially he shouldn't see her tears.

Tōshirō, hearing that, spun her around to look at her properly before giving her a piece of his mind.

Well, it was what he wanted to do. But he didn't thought about the little fact that spinning abruptly a tipsy girl around can a bad idea. Especially that Karin definitely wasn't used to drinking.

"I have a very important reason to... Karin!"

She was interrupted by the black haired girl throwing up on the ground in front of him.

He was _sooo _going to kill Matsumoto.

* * *

><p><em>The morning<em>

__Karin groaned, waking up slowly. She could feel the sun shining through her eyelids, but she didn't want to open them. Something was telling her, that seeing a light wouldn't be so nice. She covered her throbbing head with her covers with intention of going back to sleep.

But the covers weren't hers. And she knew very well the smell which lingered on them. How could she forget?

She pushed them away, sitting up abruptly and opening her eyes to look around to confirm her suspicions. But when the pain shot through her head, she groaned loudly and clutched it, shutting her eyelids close.

"Careful. Acting like that you will only make the pain worse." the husky voice at her left said and she opened her eyes again, slowly this time getting used to the light.

Tōshirō was standing on the doorway leaving to his bedroom without his haori on. Karin had seen him not once without it, but it still was a little strange, how different he looked.

"Why am I here?" she asked, noticing how much her throat was dry. She needed a glass of water, pronto.

The white haired Shinigami moved further into the room, heading to the bedstand.

Tōshirō moved further into the room, taking a glass with water from the nightstand and handing it to Karin, who took it without any word, only nodding her head.

"When you so nicely emptied your stomach, I had to take you somewhere." he answered, trying to talk as quiet as he could to be heard. "You were not very able to take care of yourself, so I took you here, to have an eye on you." he added, seeing her silent question.

Karin furrowed her eyebrows, slowly remembering everything what had happened. Yeah, it wasn't nice. Suddenly, she felt very anxious with Tōshirō standing next to the bed, his teal eyes on her all the time. Yeah, she did a great show. Getting drunk because he found a girlfriend and than snapping at him and throwing up in front of him. And sleeping in his bed in his house.

How much worse it could get?

"Karin, we need to talk." Tōshirō sighed, and she stiffened.

Forget her previous thought.

"About what?" she asked, playing with the glass in her hand and avoiding his eyes.

She was praying for her suspicion to be wrong.

* * *

><p><em>tbc. <em>


	6. I love you Part 3

Teal eyes clashed with grey. Karin gulped, afraid of what he was going to say.

Something in his eyes made her more anxious than usual. His gaze on her was so emotional and so sensitive that she had a problem sitting there calmly, in his bed, without running away. It was just getting too much for her to bear.

His eyes were on the top of her list why she did love him. There were other things more important, like the fact that she always could count on him when she had any problem and that she felt comfortable and safe around him. But if she was to write down things from his feature that had made him so special to her, than she could point out his eyes as the first thing.

Some could say that they were cold like the ice he was controlling. In some way, Karin could agree with them. But after the time she knew him, she was able to read him easily. Not from his face, because Tōshirō had always kept it as unemotional as possible, but from his eyes. The subtle change of color when he was sad or happy had never went unnoticed by her. That was her way of knowing if he was comfortable when shew as around or when he preffered to be left alone.

She wandered if Hinamori could notice it too. Karin supposed that she was, after all, Momo was his girlfriend.

And the pain came back.

The sudden move next to her and the movement of the mattress pulled her out of her thoughts. She looked up, startled, when she saw Tōshirō sitting not so far away from her on the bed. His eyes were slightly darker and she could say that he was troubled. It didn't made her feel any better. He looked at her for a moment, before opening his lips.

"Look, Karin, we really need to talk. It's my fault for not approaching the subject sooner."

He could see that she was nervous. Her eyes were still as hard and sharp as ever, even when she was hungover, but her knuckles had turned white, she was gripping the glass of water so hard. Tōshirō suddenly felt nervous himself, but he calmed himself. He couldn't back now, he knew that this moment was crucial. Not only for their friendship, but also the future relationship, if there was going to be one. But Tōshirō was going to make sure that there was. He did not intend to let her free. He didn't wait so long, _too _long, for now to give up because of fear and nervousness.

Karin's brows furrowed at his words. She really had bad hunch about it.

"What are you talking about, Tōshirō."

He looked her straight in the eyes.

"I'm talking about your feelings for me." he said, deciding to approach it in the simplest way possible.

With Karin, there was no sense of bitting around the bushes. he knew from experience that she hated that.

"You what?" she asked, her voice shaking slightly.

Her worst nightmares had just come true. She had had a good feel about it, this converstion was going to be terrible.

"I know that you love me, Karin. I have known this for some time now, however I decided to wait before talking to you about it." he started, wanting to explain everything to her, to make her understand his motives. he stopped for a moment, wandering what to say. "I wanted to give you time. To make you comprehend your own feelings. I knew that this experience was something new for you. If I knew that you would end up hurt so badly... trust me, I would do everything to change it. I don't want to see anyone close to me hurt, esspecially not you."

Tōshirō looked on her, however he couldn't read her face, since it was hidden by her hair. He decided to continue.

"I can understand what you felt when you saw me and Hinamori today, but..."

"No, you can't."

He stopped, startled, when she spoke suddenly. Her voice shook, but not from shock this time. It was full of anger, anger directed straight at him. It was new experience for him. Sure, she had gotten angry at him numerous time, but this time her voice was also full of venom.

"Don't you dare to say that you can understand it. Because you don't know. You have no bloody idea how I felt." she started again, her body shaking, he could feel it through the blanket where he was sitting. "And why the hell didn't you tell me a word that you know that I love you?"

She looked up at him, finally, but he preffered he didn't. He never wanted her to look at him with that eyes. Tōshirō knew that he had fucked up. There was no other word to descripe it.

"I'm sure that you had a lot of fun watching me, for all this time, trying to hime my feelings. Do you how much I tried? How hard it was?" she continued.

"Karin, I'd never..." he tried to interrupt her, to explain himself better.

But she didn't let him. Putting her hand in front of her, she silenced him better than ever.

"You want to know how I really felt? How I pained for all this years to just tell you everything, but was to scared about you rejecting me and destroying our friendship? How I longed for you to see me as something more that just a friend? How much I was hurt everytime when you said 'you are my best friend'?"

"I..."

"You don't know anything about it! "

She slammed the glass on the table and threw the blankets of her. She just wanted to be far away from the very place she always liked. It was too much, the pain was too great. She felt her eyes getting wet. She couldn't cry in front of him. She stood up abruptly, but before she was able to take one step, the dizziness took over her. she swayed a little, but didn't fell. Strong arm shoot up and steedied her. As always, he was there to protect her. It didn't help her. the tears were going to fell any minute now.

"Karin, please, wait. I just want to..."

But she couldn't listen to him. Didn't want to. The fact that he knew, for long time, that she loved him, caused her to fell betrayed. She could understand many things, but not this. He had been watching her, making an idiot of herself while trying to hide it from him, keeping his mouth shut. She felt naive and stupid.

She ripped her arm from his grip.

"No, Tōshirō. I heard enough. You said that ou understand my hurt. Than you should know that I'd just recently my heart ripped from my chest." she stopped for a moment, analysing something, and then she snorted. "If you started this conversation with intention of making sure that I won't try to go between you and Hinamori, you can be calm. I assure you that I was going to stay in the shadow from the beginning."

"Karin, that's not what I wanted to to say!"

But she didn't listen to him. She didn't want to be hurt more. So she turned and, for the first time in her life, she run away.

Tōshirō was left in his home, alone, looking at her dissapearing form, wandering what just happened. And how to make everything all right again.

* * *

><p>Karin was at her favorite place again. Could her live get any more crazy? During this two days almost everything she was hoping for was destroyed. She knew that nothing was going to be like before between her and Tōshirō. She knew that she shouldn't had snapped at him like that. But she was scared. Scared and ashamed, and reacted the way her mind told her to, to protect herself and her heart from any further harm.<p>

She could play it better. She could say that he had imagined everything and that it wasn't true. That she had never loved him more that a friend. But she could think straight the moment he told her about his knowledge.

Karin lied down on the soft grass, looking on the blue sky and allowing tears to fall freely. She wanted to laugh at herself. In this two days, she cried more than in almost twenty years, in both life and afterlife.

Slowly, the calm hum of leaves put her into pained slumber.

* * *

><p>Karin woke up after few hours, blinking sleepily while looking around her. it was getting dark outside, and the air was slightly chilly. She should be comming home soon. She had enough mopping for one day.<p>

She sat up, rubbing her eyes, white haori falling down from her chest where it was covering her on her laps. She moved her hand to pull it up.

When the fact registered in her brain, her hand stopped in the midair. She didn't own any haori of her own. Looking down on it, her heart almost stopped when she recognized so much familiar kanji on it. Tenth division. It would mean only one thing.

"You are an idiot, you know that?" the husky voice which she still loved, said from behind her.

Karin didn't need to turn around to look at him. She knew that he was leaning against the tree, like he always did, looking at her. She fisted the haori in her hand.

It looked like nothing was going according to her wish this day.

"Next time, before you decide to run away, at least let me explain myself properly." Tōshirō continued, watching her back.

He run after her as soon as he came to his senses. He checked her dormitory, Matsumoto's and Rukia's places, heck, he even talked with the guards if she went through the senkaimon. Then, it dawned on him where she surely was. After all, this place always calmed her down. When he arrived, he found her, lying on the ground, sleeping, with her arm over her eyes. But still, the tear marks were visible on her cheeks. He wanted to kick himself, knowing very well that it was his fault. He knew that everything had to be explained, as soon as possible.

But he didn't want to wake her up. She needed her sleep, it would heal her pain at least a little. Definitely, it would do a better job than he had done.

Noticing that the air was getting colder, he took of his haori and covered her with it. She moved slightly in her sleep, but didn't woke up. So he waited.

"Tōshirō, I really don't want to talk about it now." she said, her voice tired and resigned.

He furrowed his brows. It wasn't like Karin at all.

"No. You are going to listen to me. Now." he said fiercely.

He couldn't watch her in pain. He had to do something about it as soon as if he had to force her to listen to him.

Karin stiffened but still didn't look around. Closing her eyes, she decided to let him talk. Even if it's going to pain her, she didn't have energy to fight. The sleep hadn't helped her as much she hoped.

"I know what you thought you saw today in my office." he started, watching her closely. He pushed of the tree and started walking to her, still talking. "But that is only one side of the story. But I would assume the same if I was you."

She opened her eyes, wandering where he was going with that. But still, refused to look at him. She didn't notice even that his voice was getting closer to her.

"There is a significant difference between what happened and what you assumed. You see, the kiss was only one sided."

Karin furrowed her brows. He couldn't mean that Hinamori rejected him, could he? After all, everyone knew that the fukutaichō of fifth division had a feeling for him.

"I didn't response to the kiss. True, I love Momo, but I can't see her as anything more than my sister. After all, we grew up together and were raised by grandma as siblings. It would be improper."

Karin blinked, suddenly noticing that he was standing behind her, his voice right behind her back.

"There is another factor why I couldn't respond to it." he crouched, so his face was at the level of the back of her head. "Someone else is occupying my heart. Someone whom I can't forget, no matter what's going on."

He watched her back stiff again.

Karin closed her eyes. So there was still someone else he loved.

"Who is it?" she asked in whisper, waiting for another blow.

Tōshirō shook his head, recognizing the tone she used. She still didn't get it.

She almost jumped out of her skin when two arms clothed in black sleeves encircled her, pulling her closer to hard chest. Her eyes snapped open.

"Baka." Tōshirō said, regretting that he couldn't see her face at the moment, but decided to give her time to adjust to everything. "It was always you. How would I love someone else?"

Karin was silent, her eyes wide open. She didn't fight against his arms, too shocked to do so. Her mind was slowly registering what he had just said. Her heart jumped in joy when she heard it. The words she longed for so long. However, Kurosaki's temper wasn't so easy to calm.

She turned around, forgetting that they were so close to each other, to give him a piecie of her mind about the fact, that he had kept silent for so long.

She looked straight into teal orbs. It was the closest she had ever been to him. She could even see the small speckles in his eyes.

Tōshirō saw what was going on. But now, having her so close to him, he couldn't stop himself any longer. So, instead of allowing her to start her rant, which he from her eyes would be, he chose the better way of showing her his feelings.

When warm lips fell upon her, Karin forgot what she was going to do. Her mind was totally blind when the electricity of the kiss run through her body. She could think of nothing at the moment, except the lips of white haired man, who was holding her in his arms, kissing her.

She was still in his arms, not moving a muscle, trying yet to understand everything. However, when he moved his lips against her, probing her to answer him, she knew that it wasn't dream. It was real and Hitsugaya Tōshirō, the love of her life, was really kissing her after admitting his love.

No matter how cheesy it was and how Karin hated cheesiness, that was the best moment of her life.

So she responded. She moved her lips against his, turning fully around to embrace him around his neck, while his arms fell to her waist, holding her close, with no intention of letting her go any time soon.

From now on, she was his, permanently, just like he was her. And there was nothing anymore, what could get between them.

Tōshirō would make sure of it.

The only thing Karin would never get out of him later in their future life, was the fact, where the hell did he learn to kiss so well.

* * *

><p><em>AN: So, there it's. The final part of "I love you". I'm really sorry about the break, but I just recently got the idea what to write. I hope that it's good enough ^^"_


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